(TIML TEA) File “situationships” — a new Gen Z dating term for casual relationships — under “ways men continue to string us along.”
Like its predecessor the friends-with-benefits, no-strings-attached fling, the situationship vaguely resembles a relationship, but with none of the commitment. It’s a tactic men use to keep a steady hookup without the adult responsibility of having a partner. And it leaves women who want to be exclusive feeling like it’s “too crazy” to ask for just that. When confronted, a situationship-loving guy will simply respond that he’s “just not ready for a relationship.”
Eventually, one person catches feelings and faces heartbreak when the other doesn’t want anything more than just some casual sex.
“I was like, ‘Why won’t he make it official? Why is he embarrassed to talk about it?’ ” said Peters, who lives in Manhattan. “I just couldn’t compute it.”
It was a classic case of mixed signals: telling her he loved her when he was drunk, but avoiding her around their friends when he was sober. The emotional damage that behavior can cause is “underrated,” said Peters, who regularly gives dating advice on her TikTok.
And yet it seems widespread: According to Match.com data given to The Post, 52 percent of young singles were “worried” that their potential hookup wouldn’t want a more serious relationship.
If half of us want more than just a late-night text, why are we settling for halfhearted effort?
Rachel DeAlto, a relationship coach and TV personality, chalks it up to a fear of rejection, saying that we don’t ask for what we really desire from the person we’re seeing in order to avoid potential heartbreak.
“People are afraid to say what they want,” DeAlto said. “That fear of putting yourself out there, that anxiety that so many have, really does prevent you from saying, ‘I don’t care that you don’t want a relationship, I do, and if it doesn’t happen with you, then I need to let you go and find somebody who’s on my page.’”
While DeAlto places partial blame on women for accepting situtationships, Alli McLaren, 26, thinks the men are at fault.
The LA-based writer, actor and personal trainer said situationships arise because men “want to cheat and not feel bad about it.” In other words, relationships with no labels allow men to do whatever they want with whomever they want with no loyalty.