Kim Jong Un wakes up from blackout, wonders why everybody is crying


(TIML NEWS) Kim Jong Un is not a happy drunk.The ruthless North Korean dictator had overindulged on shots of sake this September when he ordered several top military vets to write apology and self-criticism letters, according to a Japanese media report.

“That none of you were able to produce not even one military satellite is a misconduct that is commensurate to treason,” the sauced despot allegedly told his country’s top military brass during an all-night reprimand.

But the next morning, the tyrant was no longer inebriated and asked why the elderly officials were at his villa, apparently having no memory of his tanked-up drunken tirade.

“Why are you gathered here?” Kim allegedly said, adding: “Be careful about your health because you are all old.” With that, the military men began crying  a reaction which pleased Kim, according to the account of the strange session.

“They were relieved because they thought they were going to be purged,” a source told Tokyo Shimbun. “Everyone is showing loyalty out of fear of being executed and no one dares speak against Kim.