“1. Love is swell until you’re bludgeoned to death by a psycho jealous ex.
The dog tried to warn them.
2. Speaking of bludgeoning:
If you get this card, RUN!
3. Um, yeah there are laws against this!
4. She learned it wasn’t a hot tub the hard way.
5. Little known fact: The boy in the card was modeled after a young Dick Cheney.
6. I’m guessing pen is a euphemism for something else.
7. Wait, did he murder and cremate a woman?
8. What’s going on here?! Why does that dirty old snowman have that smile on his face?
9. A rather direct request by this Popeye impersonator.
10. I now have a new unholy creature to haunt my dreams:
Don’t stare directly into it’s eyes, it will steal your soul.
11. I don’t think she is being surprised as much as she’s being suffocated!Via clipartqueen.com
12. On the next episode of TLC’s Strange Sex:
13. Wow, that got inappropriate quick.Via etsy.com
15. Who doesn’t want to be “juiced” *wink, wink* on Valentine’s Day?Via ebay.com
17. Those eyes! That stare! That look definitely says, “I’m NOT gonna be ignored, Dan!”Via ebay.com
18. Yeah, I had to look at this card twice too.
19. That wink says you’re next to be butchered.Via pinterest.com
20. Was she cryogenically frozen?
21. I like where this is headed!
22. I’m thinking this was no accident.
23. Is this the perfect card for anyone with a fish fetish?
24. The card that says “Just so you know my love for you is less than my love of Big Macs.”
25. Nothing says “I love you” like a creepy clown.
26. Just a gentle reminder: You’re SINGLE on Valentine’s Day.
27. Clearly, the message here is that there is only one thing to do if you’re dateless on Valentines’ Day:Via vintag.es“